Red River 44

Thursday Morning, September 18th, 2012.... I dropped my kids off at a friends house. She watched them on Thursdays while I went to work. She told me about a helicopter crash in Iraq and my heart sank. My husband had been in Kuwait for a month. The night before I received an email that he would be on a flight that night to Iraq.
I drove to church and prayed. Prayed like I've never prayed in my entire life. And quite honestly it was a selfish prayer. Please. Don't let it be him. Please. Over and over and over.

Early afternoon came and my kids were home and down for their naps. The phone rang and it was a fellow Army wife. No names had been released yet. But she had found out the name of one of the guys who lost his life the night before. Sgt. Daniel Eshbaugh. My husband's best friend and the guy that my husband almost always, almost always, flew with. I screamed out like I had never done in my life and slammed the phone down. A life of grief and missery flashed before my eyes. A knock on my door was my next fear. And how would I tell my innocent little babies that daddy was not coming home.

My friends gathered around me. To hold my hand. To wait with me. I was waiting for the worst.  I was hoping for a miracle.

"No news is good news." ... Its a phrase military wives know all too well. I'd like to take that phrase and kick it where the sun doesn't shine. But they are words we live by, words we hang on to. And they are words that I  seem to have forgetten on September 18th, 2012. No news is good news.

The phone rang and I didn't want to answer. Something else I had forgotten in that moment. Bad news doesn't come through the phone lines, it comes up to your front door and into your house and slaps you across the face. But that day... that day I didn't have to face the bad news. My miracle happened. My prayers were answered. It wasn't him. The voice on the other end was an Army official who told me sternly but with some major compassion and a hint of assurance "No news is good news".

A few hours later, the phone rang and at the other end was my husbands voice. Alive. Alive and shattered after having just seen his best friend and 6 of other co-workers and brothers in arms go down in flames.

Each year when September comes (and other times through the year) I am reminded of how that day went. Of how that day DIDN'T go. Of how I got my happy ending and 7 families did not. I think of those long afternoon hours of dispair. I think of how that woman called me to tell me what she knew. Since then I have hated her. Hated her for what she did to me. She broke all the rules and I'll never know why. But its time to stop blaming her. I doubt she made the phone call knowing how I would react. I honestly just believe she didn't think at all. So its time to forgive her. And let it go. And honestly... had I not had those hours... maybe I wouldn't treasure what I have so much now. Maybe when times are bad, or boring, or normal, I wouldn't stop to think that my life couldn't have gone a different direction that afternoon. I am so grateful.

 

 

 

Red River 44, You are never forgotten.

Psalm 30:5
"Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning"

Our life in iPhone pics...

We had spring break two weeks ago. The kids were out for 10 days. They loved it. I was off work for 8 of those days. It was wonderful!! I'm a big fan of spring break. Especially when you have really no place to be, no travel plans, no riding in the car for hours, no real plans. It was very relaxing. We did a lot of things, but we also took it easy.  First though... we went to the zoo. 

Here's the "baby" tiger. He's about 9 months old. 

Here's my hubby and the kids .Hubby just finished his second half marathon. Only 3 1/2 more weeks until he runs a FULL MARATHON. That's 26.2 miles people. 26 POINT 2. Yikes. 

We went roller skating. I promise she didn't hang onto the wall the entire time. ... She sat out some. Poor girl. Maybe next time. 

It's all about balance. ... And mood lighting. 

This is our new favorite fro-yo place. Any guesses? 

Barbies!!! 

The kids and I made cupcakes. Multi-colored cupcakes. For my birthday. Yes, I made my own birthday cupcakes. And they were delicious. I wish I took after pics, but they didn't last long enough! 

I successfully tricked this cutie into thinking washing dishes was fun. However, after I made the icing for my cupcakes she firmly told me "You can wash those dishes yourself". 

My bday dinner with the family and my parents. Any guesses to where we are?

 Its oh-so-classy, but hey.. we love it! 

My parents took the kids to the circus. This is not the circus. They had to leave a little early so Abby could join her team for a tournament, in which they lost all their games and still got trophies. I think organized sports can be a little "trophy heavy" sometimes. 

Also... for my birthday a group of ladies and I went to see The Hunger Games. This is the screen in the Directors Suites at our theater. To say it's THA BOMB is a slight understatement. Wish I had a picture of the recliners. Yes.... recliners! Holy seatwarmers batman! 

Again, here we are celebrating my birthday. Hey, what can I say... I like to celebrate. My wish on my actual bday was to hang out with my family. We mowed the yard, and then went to Bricktown and sat on the Patio at Zio's for lunch. I love sitting on the patio. I love lunch at Zios. I love cheesy-smiley pictures of this girl: 

And cheesy-smiley pictures of this boy: 

And cheesy-smiley pictures of this cerveza:

The week after spring break, I took another day off to take goofy, on the right, to get LASIK eye surgery done. He wore sunglasses for approximately 49.754 hours after the surgery. His vision went from really really bad, to 20/20. I'm next. Maybe. 

We went to see The Pioneer Woman. I was unaware that we would have to wait 9 hours to get our books signed, so we only stayed to hear her speak. On the way out of the book store, I acted like a stalker and snapped this picture. I was so close I could see her dimples. I'm not really sure what is up with the guy in the red shirt reading the paper. He sat there for awhile and was very un-impressed. 

Again, being the stalker fan that I am... I had to take this picture of Ree's SUV. You can see Abby, not posing in front of the vehicle as I had asked her. Wha? Its not insane to ask your 5yr old to pose in front of a dirty vehicle just because it belongs to a writer, photographer, cook, blogger, mom of 4 and wife of a rancher. 

This is the pond in my neighborhood. The neighbors call it a lake, but .. its a pond. It has a walking trail around it. Two laps = 1 mile. Two laps also = goose poop covered shoes. 

New kicks. (not covered in goose poop... yet) I'm starting this new thing... its called exercise. Specifically .. running. We'll see how it goes. Right now, my shins are not happy with this decision. 

Freeing up some time..

Lately my children have heard "I'm busy right now" more than I care to admit to. I was so happy that yesterday I was able to put the laundry on hold, fix dinner late, and walk around all the couch pillows that magically find themselves sprawled all over the floor... each and every single day.
My sweet little girl wanted to play store. I often find that my ability to pretend play is almost non-existent. I don't know how this happened. I was an only child, so pretend play and I were buddies. I played for hours at a time with only my imagination and my toys to keep me company. So although I really didn't want to at the time, I played store with Abby. She set up her room like a store, complete with a shopping basket, items to purchase (which included our cat, O'Malley), a cash register and play money for me. We had fun playing pretend and after a few minutes it all came back to me. I'm so glad we got to play.
After we were done playing we all went outside, the whole family. It was beautiful. Abby practice some swings with her new t-ball tee and new bat. (girl can HIT). After awhile I decided I better make use of the nice day and go for a walk. I asked Alex if he'd like to go with me and surprisingly he said yes. I figured he wouldn't make it very far, but we walked around most of the neighborhood and then the neighborhood pond. A total of 1.3 miles. During that walk, we raced each other, we laughed, we joked, and he did an awful lot of talking. I couldn't love my son more, but after our walk together I think I appreciate him more. I appreciate how his mind works. He's ALWAYS thinking. Always wondering, always trying to learn more and more and more. He talked about dinosaurs and how he thinks the Super Croc (Sarcosuchus imperator) was a big factor in the reason why the dinosaurs went extinct. He suggested that we did up the back yard to see if there are any fossils buried. (I veto'd that idea, but said maybe he could look elsewhere). He also talked about how the great mammoths died because the earth got too warm. I'm telling you people, he's going to be some type of zoologist, or scientist, or a museum curator. The way he talks about these things... he's so passionate about it, he's so informative and he makes me want to learn more.
When we got back home I watch Alex play catch with his daddy. Last year he couldn't catch a ball... at all. He caught more than half yesterday. ;)
So to say we had a good day yesterday is an understatement. Its amazing what we can gain when we are able to put our "business" on hold.

Merry Chirstmas

This is my 8th Christmas as a parent. I had good Christmas's growing up and I looked forward to them every year. But now, its so much better. Its so much better to see the joy in my children as they learn about the birth of Christ, celebrate HIS birthday, and participate in the traditions that we've created together as a family. I look forward to many many many more years with them and I just pray that these things we are doing now are things that they will cherish as they are older and pass on to their own children.
May you all have a wonderful Christmas and my you find peace in the birth of our Savior.

4th of July Weekend

To celebrate the July 4th weekend and my father-in-law's 60th birthday, we took a family road trip to San Antonio, TX. We headed out Thursday afternoon into the hot-hot Texas heat. Traveling were, my father and mother-in-law, sister-in-law, Kathy, and chihuahua Daisy  in one car; myself, hubby, and two wild and crazy kids in the back in our car.
While in Texas we visited Ernie's cousin, Edgar and his wife Barbie. Yup, that's really her name. Abby thought this was the best thing ever! They have three BEAUTIFUL girls, Madelyn, Alyssa, and baby Lily. Seriously, I wanted to baby-nap Lily. I woulda if it weren't for the fact that she has two loving parents and two sisters that just adore her. Dern!!
Lily gave Ernie and I a HUGE case of baby-fever! I totally miss all most things baby. Their smell, little toes, two little bottom toofers popping thru, baby smiles, happily kicking baby legs, rocking the little one to sleep. Ah.. the list could go on.

And watching Alex and Abby interact with Lily was pure magic. Minus the times Alex was a bit over-bearing.

So maybe a third child is not out of the question for us. We'll still need to think and pray on that one.

Also while in San Antonio we visited the Riverwalk, the Alamo, Fort Sam Houston, and SeaWorld. I went to SeaWorld in San Antonio once as a kid and it is not at all as I remembered, but that was about 21 years ago. They did have a really cool Sesame Street kids area where both the kids rode their first roller coaster ever. Alex was seriously shaking in his shoes just waiting in the line. Abby was calm, cool and collected. BUT... they both had the same reaction once on the ride. Sheer terror. After the ride was over (a good 5 seconds) he proclaimed "THAT WAS STUPID!" Poor Abby just cried and cried. Just like their mama. Maybe Ernie will find someone else that shares his joy of roller coasters.
All-in-all it was a fun trip and a nice little get-away. Also a huge eye opener. We thought we were done having kids but who knows. There may be another little one in store for us.
And also, I will never-EVER-again stay at a LaQuinta. N-to the-ASTY. Just sayin.

 Alyssa, Madelyn, Lily, Abby, Alex

The Girls 

Love this face!  

TEXAS!! (Boomer) 

He looks good holding a baby, huh? (And yes, he has to sport his Sooner gear in the Longhorn State) 

Soooo sleepy